Funny Stuff

The SNARF


Meet the SNARF’s🙂 The what? yer asking now and prolly scratching yer head or chin, nuts or anything remotely resembling them body parts depending on yer gender (DUH), the state yer brain is in and yer good manners kick, in of course…


For those who never had the pleasure of meeting one of them:  a  S N A R F is a:
Short-tempered/fused, but NEVER Aggressive ROYALLY  FECKED person or SMURF lookalike…  BUT let me be quite clear about it: that is prolly the only one time that I would publicly admit that there is a slight resemblance between these little blue feckers ( HA If ONLY THEY COULD EH 😂), and OF COURSE THIS ACRONYM stems from the purely COINCIDENTAL FACT (naaaah not saying that just for copyright reasons my friends, hell no.) that it’s my First name reversed


OKAY, judging by all them surprised looks, I best briefly explain to y’all what I am on about eh by using one of them  fantastic quotes of yet another film ya just got to see DONNIE DARKO where he states [matter-of-factly] quite good and to the point about the ever-interesting topic of whether or not the Smurfs are reproducing or not;

” First of all, Papa Smurf didn’t create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel’s evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario – It just couldn’t happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don’t even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That’s what’s so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What’s the point of living… if you don’t have a dick?”

DONNY DARKO


AND to the latter statement, I just close my briefcase as that my dear reader, really sums it all up, quite nicely too, I’d like to add 😁I mean really, What could be the motivation Or reason for a fellar to even want to continue or pretending yer still living … if ya don’t have a dick… OH, MY GAWD 😳IT MUST SUCK TO BE A SMURF, RIGHT? RIGHT? LMAO 😁🙉😆

ALRIGHTY THEN WITHOUT MUCH ADO I PRESENT YA:

A SMALL selection of a few of them wee basterds I think could be seen as archetypes of my own character:


I drink to That Snarf A fellar with one of them rough sounding Scottish roots no doubt, hardly ever argues but rather insists that this or that could be, ney should be, solved with a drinkey or two… Now that’s a fellar, after me own heart as he doesn’t complain (a lot) about his Faith jet takes it like a grown-up – on the chin – … TROUBLE with him is of course, that his ego keeps writing all them bouncing checks and his body can’t keep up the pace. Also, the fact that he never seems to want to back down doesn’t help much, eh.

Well, never? Challenge accepted 😏 Aaaanndd I rest me case yer honor, eh…

The Romantic SNARF is not really that romantic. It’s more a variant on the next SNARF and the one before. As long as it gets what he thinks he needs more than anything else in the world, ya know he seeks his pleasures in cheap/sleazy bars with ditto women and is really harmless as long as he can get his satisfaction, if ya know what, I mean 🙂 . Of course, that’s only to blame to a bit too much of these prescribed drugs to help him deal with his PD. Yep, that’s got to be it: all to blame to his meds cos he never used to be like that. One word of Caution! Though, never try to tie yer laces or pick up stuff from the floor around that fecker cos ya might end up royally… Precisely No need to fill in the blanks, right, I Mean why state the obvious, eh?


The “Addicted to about anything, as long as it gives him a BUZZ” SNARF  could also be my kind of guy if not that life goes really too fast with him around… Speak about burning the candle on two ends eh Then this guy will try to lure ya into a bet by proving to ya that it may be even more fun to start one or two in the middle of the candlestick eh😄 and  WHEN does that guy ever go to sleep, GEEZ…


And then we have this really nasty piece of work. Let’s call him the Lecturing SNARF for now for lack of a better description; we all know what we mean by it, don’t we? Wait, what’s that young fellar, yeh you there right in the back row. What’s that yer asking? Oh, ya want me to elaborate on it (a tad more, eh) well, now pull a chair and grab yerself something to drink, and let’s get to the bottom of this character cos that’s where we should start our little story as he is a bit of a bottom feeder see 😏.


Right, ok the Lecture SNARF here it is then eh [Illustration follows shortly] Meh 😒, nothing much to look at ya say eh 🙄, Well let me assure ya that the saying: There is more than meets the eyes, which implies  sort of when looks would deceive ya, well I have no idea  how that must “feel”  of course,  cos well let’s face it, GUYS I still AM  quite a good looking lad, WITH AN ALWAYS (Except on a few occasions) SUNNY DISPOSITION yessah even if I have to say so meself eh😐
But not the LECTURE SNARF, no, Ma’am…

First, off he’s got them really offensive looking spectacles, which if  I was to be of a different gender would be a big turnoff (and perhaps even a passion killer), but since I am a  RED blooded male, I have to admit that I don’t know much about that particular topic, so yeh, it is remotely possible that I could be wrong there… SO go on, and this could be yer callsign for all them fine ladies among us so let’s hear it in the comments please or if ya would mind that sort of public response then I could imagine that ya might want to consider to fill me in an even more anonymized way as this is also an option…


Second, it must be why he got his name, but he is always telling peeps, “stuff,” thangs ya already know, and well, I don’t want to sound even remotely like him, so I take it ya know what. I mean? Yeh, that’s what I thought…

Further; one of his more annoying characteristics could be the fact that he pretends to know quite a bit and wants to demonstrate that by showing off how erudite he is…l

Of course, with the arrival of the internet and its quite useful, Wikipedia should be providing ya with all the tools needed, which I think it’s not presenting a too big challenge for ya to get well-read in on any topic of interest and beat that darn Lecturing SNARF on its own turf if ya catch me drift, eh 😏

Well, that concludes this topic of interest of them SNARFS, and just in case y’all may want to contribute to this discourse, elucidation, or argument even by putting some more examples of this phenomena. I have created this form for ya. Please fill it out, and do not forget to check yer e-mail addy, eh 😳🙄

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Comments

06/10/2021 at 10:44 am

Very funny take on he unwinnable battle yer dealing with, mate, Good luck with that I’d say, eh 🙂



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