Funny Stuff

Too Daft for Words

Morons, idiots and imbeciles, I am surrounded by them, at least I’m fairly convinced that they have embarked on an invasion of my personal space with an uncomfortable pace.


Example 1 (Not to worry, there will be more in due course)

We keep coffee in a pot, such a beautifully designed, at least from a stylistic perspective, stainless steel-glass combo. In practical terms, an absurdity, because how do you get the coffee out when you are halfway through, let alone as the bottom is in sight?

Picture of the practical absurdity
Picture of the practical absurdity

With a prolonged coffee scoop, you say? Like this one, you mean perhaps?

Picture of an imbecile, almost criminally bad, thought out design
Picture of an imbecile, almost criminally bad, thought out design

Smack, there it is, the first example of a complete moron design undoubtedly figured out by an equally sadistic and mentally derailed person m/f.

It starts all so well. Take a piece of plastic, make it so it hinges and thus can be folded and then, then my esteemed ladies and gentlemen readers, then put the shovel portion in an inverted position which defies any form of logic and common sense and make thus the final result equally distressing if not impossible to use.

In practice, on the Supreme moment, the scoop nods on a shameful dastardly way to the inside, making most of the just half loaded shovel, (which one will not succeed to fill more than half full, mind you), fall:

  • back in the stupid pot
  • on the retarded floor
  • or what I invariably succeed in, (except when a camera is running),  oh joy, in the pocket of my half-opened robe.

Really with foam on the mouth I desperately have been trying to transport a few atoms of coffee, all in vain. Believe me: it is even easier to squeeze blood from a stone than to get only the smallest quantity with THIS misshapen DUD, THIS TRAVESTY, THIS ANTI-CHRIST of an EXCUSE for a SPOON from a three quarters empty pot.

I am sorry for the text in uppercase and equally sorry for the spit against the monitor screen, but that’s because I’m still “ranting after”-and no, for the dumb blondes among you, that is not a kind of reminisce like for example Après ski.

What a moron that designer of the coffee machine.

What an imbecile that designer of the extended coffee scoop.

What an idiot to try this more than once anyway.

Basically, you need an experience with this type of product as much as you need to try Chrystal Meth; not even once!


Gus Brehm
02/07/2021 at 7:02 pm



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