Funny Stuff / Short Stories / Viewpoints

HAD A GOOD SNEEZE THERE, MATE, yeh?

“How far I, ehhhrm, what?”
“Meinier? “Fighting Wot” ??
“Out offf my nose, right? “” Meinier? “

The man of unmistakenly foreign origin, but since the “GENERAL PARDON” has been declared DUTCH, looks increasingly confused and must by now think “that on closer inspection his tax money could have been better spent, since for him too, as the gibberish-looking sentence, this was so “‘plucked as true… ”or no, wait“ cruelly torn off ”sounds better here because the aforementioned peculiar- fact-, comes from the tear-off calendar of“ Quest ”a technology-oriented magazine …

“AHA, Blobs of SNOT !!”

Happy as a child with a found balloon, the man looks up from the torn-off calendar sheet he had so deftly snatched from the sky just a moment before and then “it happened” he sneezed… not in my direction, I give him that much, but still. 

Not being disturbed by gravity, my presence that cannot be missed, nor the law of conservation of energy. The obvious fact that I was just reduced as if I were just a by-product of entropy, a side effect even, the travesty …

Not bothered by my growing misanthropy in general and resentment for him in particular, he now clearly crows happily with the statement he devised himself… While vigorously wiping the offender in the flesh, his nose and quite a big un too, with the end of a moist sleeve.. “Well, there ya go ol’ boy” I thought by myself, but even reminiscing a tragic and unforeseen and no doubt there, painful, death in an sick bed in an overcrowded Dutch hospital was not particularly soothing me as I was abruptly pulled back from my pondering by my personal nemesis.

Yes is “Natoer” too, huh? “Meinhier” he happily exclaims…

With my interlocutor of that day, the penny now seems to have fallen, judging by the man’s pathetic attempts to appear philosophical (at least that’s how I interpret it, then, huh)

“But, well, I have to keep going now” I answer my now former companion and I walk away with a brisk pace …

Now again seriously, Or as a teacher used to say “Seri NOSE ” and he could look so roguish and comical that you soon had forgiven him again for his moderately developed sense of any originality.

That said, a normal sneeze has proven to be a particularly effective weapon in the clutches of Covid-19, it has been established beyond ANY doubt.

QUALITY, THIS vid IS…

Since it does not seem feasible, my dear readers, to realize a security barrier of several tens of meters, it seems best to me to ignore the semi-safe one and a half meter fake barrier currently in use and simply sneeze under penalty of execution, Yes, on the spot… ..ha! yes and no second chance or endless nitpicking as some of those present douches do around me, “Yes, but I sneezed in my elbow”, ya hear them squeal and if luck will be on our side it will soon be followed suit by the following words/actions “NOPE doesn’t count ya Basterd” * BLAAMalam * a double shot in the neck and the greetings back at home eh😎.

I see what ya did there :😀 QUITE LITTERALLY😁
Or perhaps it’s time to opt for a more radical DECISION?

Please note that now, of course, I am mocking you and that none of what I have just been rambling about should be taken even somewhat seriously (or was it still “Seri NOSE ”? … 😀)

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The SNARF

05/11/2021