Funny Stuff / Short Stories

Fighting a losing battle

Just a question of conscience. If a fight cannot be won, are you going to take it on? Why or not and please motivate in the comments, thanks in advance.

OK Now, the reason why I am asking this question, because dear reader, I am faced with this vital question almost every day.

Just the history, in short, because ya know, boring.

About the first months after my birth, dewworm a so-called atopic or constitutional eczema (*) was diagnosed in me and although relatively harmless, an indication of what was to come. As is the case with babies, I really had no idea and even then scratched myself completely open, until my dear mother put on my mittens and sewed them to the bed. In fact my first straitjacket, ha, ha. 😁

Now I laugh at such simple limitations, but at the time it did help, although of course, the itching made me almost insane. At the time, I seem to have bitten quite a few home care workers, something I, unfortunately, I say with the knowledge of now, cannot remember. Incidentally, I hurry to add that I will probably now have a different resolution about such a conflict, about the temperature of the bathwater to name but one thing, (really as I got this from a reliable source, the sheets of skin were just peeling off my poor burned baby buttocks there). Hm, now that I read this back I notice that this latest addition is not exactly reassuring, okay … You have been warned, me thinks eh, oh, well…

Anyway, “fast forward” with me to my seventh year, when I was already plagued a lot by mysterious breathlessness, which manifested itself attack-wise. The doctor had thought that my skin disorders and attacks could be attributed to a food allergy (chocolate and nuts especially), no doubt with the best of intentions, but for me as a growing child of course disastrous, especially around birthdays and Sinterklaas, because I got a (small) disaster to deal with, but instead of the so coveted chocolate delicacies invariably I got (mint) licorice. Of course, now when looking back I can like yer prolly doing right now (roll my eyes and sigh 😀) put things in perspective, but all Icanaasks for try to see this through my eyes when ya were a kid of my age.

In the meantime, I had moved for the third time and was living in Huizen (NH). The GP (one Ko Damen) from that place was clearly more progressive and advised my parents to go to the Asthma Center in Hilversum to do a more in-depth investigation there.

After a conversation with a lung specialist, Mr. Rozenboom, now no longer with us, after an extensive series of tests, it was established that I was not only extremely allergic to house dust (a waste product from the house dust mite), which resulted in a particularly violent reaction which reflected came into asthma attacks and eczema. However, I could become 100 with that, so the nice pulmonologist reassured me, a bit of a clincher, one of the many I would hear more often. Why a clincher? Well, as if you would want to turn 100 years old at all and then still give “the pipe to Maarten” (sorry for this prolly double-dutch expression as it means that yer kicking the bucket), rattling and squeaking? You understand that this is of course not the news that makes you happy, but at least we knew what it was and it was now just a matter of actually doing something with it. It soon became apparent that this mainly applied to me alone and that it entailed a number of significant limitations.

For example, I had wanted a dog for a number of years, but we were / I was not ready for that at the age of seven, my parents thought. Now that was certainly not possible, at least until I would at least reach the adolescent age. Oh, and although I have long passed that magical age limit and have already started my 12th generation of the dog breed of my choice Bouvier, Belge des Flandres, unfortunately, I never got rid of asthma, but that aside.

Not a dog. WELL TOUGH but iI was allowed to take riding lessons, to compensate or because it had a somewhat more status-enhancing factor? Be that as it may, I turned out to be moderately talented in riding ponies, mainly Icelanders and that was it, that the spark did fly and I actually turned out to be a gifted rider, which allowed me to receive weekly instruction from my father and mother in a riding school.

Because a hobby can cost quite a bit of money, but, my father decided one evening after dinner, it must also be possible to pay for it and before he would pour over his life lessons and related experiences and acquired wisdom, because that’s how it went at that time, yes, then it was, then (“Vroegah”, so) at least you pretended to have a fair amount of awe and relative respect for whatever your educators had come up with to keep you in line.

But anyway, we and then I mean my sister and myself of course, because my brother kept himself, at the time, becoming wise or born that way, I leave that in the middle, so suggested that we wanted to give up quite a bit or something. ..Yes, dear readers, I can hardly get it out of my throat or even “would do odd jobs” if “our father” was sweet, but especially wouldn’t decide that those riding lessons were over …

So, I also had to struggle to make ends meet when I walked a paper route and I will hopefully one day think back with pleasure about this time, undoubtedly enjoying a >>>>> while watching my >>>>> amused look. >>> watch.

ADD to >>>>> whatever perverse fantasy you have and you know that I know your fantasy equals mine … * (Dream on sucker) 🙄😎

Although I had this, besides the providence EVOLUTION donated ACQUIRED talent to build and maintain a connection with a lower lifeform, and sure enough, proved a reasonable rider, I had to have nothing to do with competition and I sought, therefore, my solace in nature. Instead of me to qualify in chasing 500 kg of muscles and tendons and oh yes another lump of human DNA that clung to the aforementioned mass over obstacles

That suddenly reminds me of a funny anecdote of the time in one of those rare moments in my life when I gave in against my better judgment to my father’s whim and participated in a “Concours Hippique”. Yes, can you imagine “Someone who does not have a thread of competition in him” (OR JUST has too much of it, but has learned, unconsciously or not, to control himself and to avoid competition “at all costs” … Food for psychologists Perhaps (Hmm, I can see your eyes getting that peculiar glow like it’s feeding time at the zoo :-))

Stiff creeps ”that’s what I initially thought about my competition and now I belonged to that too… Ha!.

Yes, I know, and I admit I couldn’t stand myself either very well at the time, but you know how those things go, right?

Although I always stand behind a decision, especially when it comes to life lessons, especially to try everything once and of course no remorse eh😊, I have always wondered how it could happen that I was in that difficult position where I had ended up in. After doing some self-analysis: I have to thank my vanity, for it…

But without getting ahead of ourselves: after all, I have to tell it chronologically. So back to the 70s where I tried to hold my own between fellow adolescent teenagers on the one hand and on the other side of the ring my ladies and gentlemen 87 kg (of which 17 kg too much of all the good things in life) very definitely “competitive minded” yes, even an ambitious father with an urge to assert money, I have you there… And to be honest I knew I could just do that course flawlessly. Some things you just know about yourself and in order not to make a long story longer (it is not that I get paid per word or something like that banal) …..

Oh wait YES I hear it right.

It is my lovely wife and wife out of a thousand and you know a man’s love goes through his stomach

(NOT so according to Zsa Zsa Gabor an actress of the fifties who came with a rather infamous quote and I am paraphrasing: that she found a quicker way to go to a man’s heart by going straight to the darn thang with an ice pick or something between the 3rd or 4th thoracic vertebrae ha, ha, ha 😚) all kinds of delicacies, prepared with love, that goes without saying…

Oh, and now I am on the subject, let’s just talk for a wee bit about my wife, who is German by birth ( DON’T mention The War (BhA Ha, Ha. Must WATCH THAT clip, eh) But, not exactly aside because that is of distinctive importance: You are undoubtedly (because erudite) familiar with the fact that our Eastern neighbors are fairly National oriented and apart from the peculiar need to dig pits everywhere, which one secretly still proudly also improves, regularly when they are here with great certainty that everything in that “Heimat” of them is so much better, I wanted to experience that from my own hand. And since I have been married for 17 years now, I can wholeheartedly admit, nothing beats a Bavarian. She has a lot to do with me because I ‘seem to be one of ‘them specials’ or odd jobs more like it, eh.

Something I don’t apologize for because of my origins and thank you grandpa Frans. No, no, not my father’s father who was also called Frans. It goes back a few generations and I say it more often, especially lately, but I will also come back to that in the future and you remind me if I forget this. Now back to the infamous 70s.

Unfortunately, the pleasure I experienced from the bond that a person can build between humans and animals did not last long, because I also turned out to be allergic to this newfound hobby. As it turned out tI was allergic to all animals with hairs and or feathers, this didn’t stop me, though. On the contrary, instead of once a week, I now rode our own horse every day, because my father and sister also had a taste for😂 it. Every day in the great outdoors. How we did that with that allergy because a horse needs a lot of maintenance and well, that is a matter of having a, really true, treasure of a mother and with that, I say not a word too much, rather too little, but fortunately it is possible I still do that every day. Mom, if you’re reading this right now, I love you and not just for everything you’ve done for me (and all of us).

By the way, she will not even be able to read that at the moment, I suddenly realized, because you are not so fond of the internet, but okay then you will read it another time if this ever comes out in book form then you will, of course, get the first edition and personally signed… Well, a person must have a dream or not? So yes…

OH and that course then I can almost hear you think how did that end in the end? Surely fecked it up, right?

Um, well, no, not exactly no. I turned out to be the only one that day who had done the entire course flawlessly… Well. It’s a matter of having a very good horse, isn’t it? Because it was. Mariandel was her name, what a heated fury of a horse that was. Only thanks to me we were not awarded anyway … Because I was immediately disqualified and not because I had hit the ringmaster in the face or something. No that only came afterward, with his taunting about my hairstyle (admittedly long hair never looked too good on me) and whether I might want to borrow a hairnet from that fleabag next to him (his wife yeah (ha, ha).

No, it was thanks to my stubbornness that I did not receive the first prize. I had thought to look just once, fleetingly, since, with my photographic memory, I regarded more as a precious waste of my time.

Only apparently I had forgotten to put in a new roll of film (yeah I know ya prolly have no idea of what I am babbling about, eh) and I had done the entire course clockwise, while it should have been counterclockwise. (Ha, ha) a small oversight, right? But, well, rightly disqualified …

* Atopic eczema is a common, non-contagious, chronic inflammatory disease of the skin. The word “atopy” means “tendency to react allergically”. “Eczema” is a medical term and refers to the presence on the affected skin of redness, scaling, warmth, swelling, red bumps, fluid blisters, discharge (“wet”), scabs, and scratching effects. These phenomena can be present next to and one after the other. There are many forms of eczema, depending on the cause. Atopic eczema is therefore just one of the many forms of eczema. Due to the hereditary predisposition of this skin disease, it is also called “atopic eczema”. Synonyms are “atopic dermatitis” or “neurodermatitis”.


stormy sea with splashes and waves

Anyway, just read on, ya hear … Because nothing seems to be as annoying as a smartass who with every introduction of something that would have been a novelty for “the majority”, were it not for the aforementioned annoying pratt which so now again quite a nuisance, is present, of which the administrator of this domain and this Blog, will keep a close eye on the activities of this FECKER, of which I made a mental note … And now I myself have lost the thread of what I wanted to state so .. yes, you can laugh now eh 😁haha, ah, well…

By the way, I really mean that. Why? Well, because I think that a good quality of us humans is that despite adversity, after disaster and misery whatever has struck, we somehow manage to see the humor in it, so whatever lady luck throws on yer path, keep smiling is my motto.

More next time, and I’ll get into that research by that child psychologist because, yes, yes, gotcha. I had noticed that predictable, physiological reaction when I was talking about it and saw that all-telling, calculating glow in your eyes appear, yes, indeed, well, now we are talking about it, just like a predator that has detected a prey …

Hm, I wonder what that says about our relationship …

I am always happy with your response, but just a little warning because you may not know how I deal with criticism. Oh, I think I can deduce from the white skin around your nose that you do know, ha, ha, ha, OK, then it’s okay (Message delivered, we shall think)

The nice thing is that I also see this a bit as a so-called. ”Disclaimer in case it should come to a lawsuit (Or worse 😲 between you and my representatives of the law (Yes, what did you think? TRY to see it from my perspective a king should not let himself get insulted, after all, we have something called impunity, right?)

But, I know and realize that you may not see it that way, but that doesn’t seem so important, does it? Exactly, next time we’ll talk about it, promise, okay?

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Ik bеn 24 ϳaar оud, Kаrina, uіt de Тsϳеchiѕсhе Reрublіek, ken оok de Engelѕе taal
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