light dawn holiday art
Funny Stuff

FAR OUT, groovy and SURE mate, why don’t you throw in some more of those excellent 60’s expressions? Why, huh? FIRST On the “Daantjes behavior”, dopamine, et al. ALSO referred to as FRANJO’S UNITED THEORY.

How I found The THEORY or how I found the pattern is not that relevant, as most of those wonderful discoveries areased on subjective observations. Coincidence always seems to play a big part, of course, but as the farmer has supposedly said before, when he apparently…well no, let’s not go that way because this time I’m going to do it right, meaning I don’t have a pertinent detail will leave out… and TRY to avoid irrelevant matters as much as possible… Note that I am using the term TRY here…

So, since you’ve been given fair warning ahead of time, I’m right to assume you’ve read the fine print on the back. Are you sure, mkay? Well, all right, let’s get started, shall we? But first, before I even try to describe the process, your brain has to go through more or less the same evolutionary course in order to follow this kind of evolutionary thinking, where I’m not under the illusion that even 20% of what I’m talking about to reveal it actually comes across, let alone that there is even anyone who can make these kinds of elementary connections or come up with them themselves…


Keep in mind one thing here and that is that it falls into the same class as the well-known pictures of the category “once ya see it …. ya cannot unsee them ” Therefore it may not be unwise to have the equivalent of the “eyebleech” which I always use myself; YEP YOU GET IT RIGHT once it’s natural LAPHROAIG Single Islay malt whiskey MY FAVORITE DRINKY

But, ok with this FAIR warning we have fulfilled our legal duty of care and now it is just a matter of reading and imagining things as they are presented, ok?

Ok ready for


———————I have to tell you the joke you may or may not have heard before. Anyway I’m pretty sure the person I heard it from first WOULD BE my ONLY SON Kevin, a Dutch MARINE I adore as any father would be cause he’s such a formidable dude, but I digress, so I apologize if it wasn’t you, Kev. OK, here it goes: AND to be clear, jokes would actually be best told untranslated, but then again a lot of them wouldn’t reach us back and forth, yeah, so that’s why I asked good old Google for that tackling old problem so to speak…

A farmer enters the chicken .coop one fine morning. Is that cage full of colored eggs? What in the name of all things still sane are we going to experience hrere, eh, the farmer thinks, it is far from Easter yet? That evening he decides to watch over the chicken coop. At sunset, he sees a colored dot approaching in the distance. The dot is approaching. It turns out to be a parrot, and it sings: “I’m DAAN, and I can fuck like a rooster, I’m DAAN, and I can fuck like a cock …” The parrot walks past the farmer, enters the hen house and shags all chickens.and being a parot he then starts to brag about it calling it some of his best firm good old fashioned errm parrot sex.

The next day the hens lay colored eggs again. I will put a stop to that, the farmer thinks. He stretches an electrical wire for the chicken coop and puts 220 volts on it. When the farmer goes to look in the chicken coop the next morning, there are still colored eggs, and they are even bigger than the days before too. The farmer decides to stand guard again in the evening. And yes, at a certain point the parrot approaches again: “I’m Daan, and I can fuck like a rooster, I’m Daan, and I can fuck like a cock…” The parrot walks past the farmer. “…I’m Daan, and I can fuck like a rooster…” Then the parrot ALMOST CUPS against the electricity wire underneath, but overlooks the wire with the 220 volts on it, which hits him full in the private parts and then exclaims : “brrrrrrrrr what a damn horny lightning bolt I am tonight, huh,

The farmer thinks about this for a while and then calmly goes inside to get his gun and shoots Daan pief paf poof through his braincase ..,.

Having given it some afterthought and perhaps also some form of regret he decides to make an epitaph for him because he appreciated his zest for life eh, who knows ? ANYHOO it became as follows:
Here lies DAAN
He could indeed fuck like a cock,
but unfortunately everything comes to an end

and seeeing no alternative for he was far from able to get mend
I had to shoot him, dead and he dropped like a block
it was also his sad fate
because my bullet made him a parrot late

Whereupon Daan apparently does not yet fully open box 6 to whisper something softly. Moved, the farmer picks up the beautiful almost dead bird and holds it closer to his half deaf ears
Whereupon Daan says: “Feck me ya jerk, you’re cock blocking my chances to score” and then points into the sky where vultures have gathered in anticipation of the feast and whispers “look there, YA SEE THEM SO HORNY CHICKIES…”

ok admittedly it’s an old joke and all things considered not (very) essential to this story, but I wouldn’t be Fransjo if I didn’t somehow turn it into a sickly and oh so characteristic of my admittedly cynical (but never morbid) view of life and everything that crawls around in here, flies and…’

Anyway, you understand me, you are also used to that area, I thought so and given the fact that it a) adds nothing and b) on the other fact that I have just dined extensively, I will leave that out for safety’s sake and now go on with the core of my story or the theory of everything…”
Of course you know my dearly beloved reader of this that I am not grounded in that field or even have a half-completed training in the beautiful science of nature or the quantum mechanics…

But it is certainly not the case that labor alone sets us free to mention a misplaced SIDE or should it be cross street… OK this one is deffo lost in to the translation but hey,…

No, it is therefore correct that as a free spirit, and nobody can take that away from me, and not hindered by the ballast of knowledge in that complex area, I may dare to lift a corner of the veil and then enjoy the experience together with you. beautiful view that we are offered…

After all, it is my privilege to let you share in the fantasy that I dare unbridled to unleash in the confidence, nay, the knowledge that “Alles sal reg come” a quote from Paul Krüger that although somewhat out of context (because a totally different context) doesn’t seem too strange to you, I hope it does…

But now, without any reservatiions; The Theory of Everything

Oh, that’s still hard

(!) so sorry for the use of this expression which when taken out of context could be perceived as a bit gross.

“Yes, if it was easy, everyone would do it” I can still hear my father say; IF I was in a rare fit of self-pity… AND WITH THAT he hit the nail on the head. So the nail and not the undersigned for the sake of clarity. He never abused me (physically) and neither did any of us. So in that respect he was an ideal father. Also in the financial field you can safely say that we have never lacked anything, on the contrary, now that I have fulfilled the role of father myself (with due pride) for about 30 years, I can say with undisguised admiration ask, because no matter how that “Oude” did that, but really everything our heart desired was bought and nothing on installment of course because that was the mange of him.

However, the observant reader will not have missed the fact that I apparently found it necessary to make the caveat (hidden by the way, haha} that my father apparently did not hold an opinion as much as he did Multatuli (Dutch author of Max Havelaar and among others is responsible for the questionable statement of rod sparing parents who must hate their children

(Hahaha I always find it amazing how I sometimes manage to take educational advice like: “He who loves his child spares not the rod”, which was undoubtedly well-intentioned and true in that era, and then completely twisted into ” and thus Kinderhaters”) which can undoubtedly be explained by the fact that he himself did not seem to have had a particularly carefree childhood, which in my opinion is not yet an excuse to pass that on to the next generation, but good that completely and unambiguously aside.

OK, JUST ABOUT MY DAD FOR A LITTLE TIME then and you know how I feel about that, “About the dead nothing but GOOD, so I’m pretty much squeezed out of that (or am I? Mumbles something half-in-your-mouth about that some things just happen? belong to life and not everything needs to be discussed publicly)

NOW then? Will the promised sweet finally come? NO, I bellow with a sneer at so much ignorance, whether or not feigned…. First we get the sour feeling that every right-minded Dutch person will recognize after the third Tuesday in October has passed again, coming to the bitter conclusion that our Promised sweet has once again been drilled through the collective nose as if it were a piercing of questionable quality by an obviously drunk as a Malay …ok and now I stop,,,

eh, no, that’s not because the emotion has become too much for me, and ALSO NOT BECAUSE I’D BE TOO TIRED OR God better not have any more inspiration. No, no triple No (because that makes more impression, doesn’t it?) It sometimes happens that even I have nothing more to add or otherwise have to debit so’… well at the risk of “JUST” worn out become… [BREAKING PAUSE]

AND on again; yes, because the chimney of the VanderLOOtjes must also continue to smoke, otherwise our aspiring publisher will soon have nothing to publish, which will have irrefutable consequences for the microcosm, of which I, like you, appear to be a miniscule but essential part, so will come to light later.

But NOW Finally My Theory of EVERYTHING

Yes, dear reader, it is really there… COULD it really be? Or will we get another cliffhanger or other cheap trick for click bait?

PADAMMMMMM TsssssJJJssssjjjjsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss <DRUM ROLL >>

STARTING POINT 1) Life is cyclical and not, as is often (TOO) simplistically depicted as a film strip with a beginning and an end.

Examples of this are: ‘glitches’ in the script including but not limited to things that cannot, (yet do happen)

STARTING POINT (2): OLDER men bloom as soon as younger women appear on the scene, I started to call this the Daantjes effect, half serious and half jokingly, indeed with a playful reference to the previously debited joke and the well-known cockerel behavior of our macho contemporaries…

Now you will say hello there FRANSJO where is the empirical evidence

WELL I will come back to that in a moment. An example of what regularly happens to me is this… The screenshot below of something that has not happened yet and a little later it did…

Insane ? POSSIBLE but it could be even crazier… SO I have the following ingredients for a formula; one takes a highly developed imagination, also an almost supersensory perception and couple all this with an incalculable intelligence fed by an extraterrestrial intuition and voilà, we have another one… Only the mold of the original has been destroyed…. could have been so much fun, right?

But now back to the intriguing subject; Drawing on my rather fragmented memory, I come up with the following I hope appealing example:

And then the author turned out to have been completely mistaken in the omnipresent goodness of the universe, which was inexorably punished with a disk i/o error which in layman’s terms means as much as eh too bad dude you should have made an extra backup Hey?





04/25/2022 at 12:14 pm

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05/01/2022 at 2:29 am

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