Funny Stuff

Divisible by zero

“It is always said that you would do well to talk about your problems, preferably with select friends or other people close to you.

Well, I don’t believe any of that. It has been shown to me, and call me a cynic if you will that anything you tell others will be used against you in one way or another at some random time (usually when it doesn’t suit you).

In fact, I once read somewhere, but damn if I can find it again, that of all the problems you share with other people, 80% don’t give a damn, and only 5% (probably your mother) are genuinely involved in your issues. the remaining 15% are, in fact, granting ya them…

Then why am I blogging it? So half the world can see and even comment on it?

Well, I don’t have the illusion that half the world, whether or not they speak the Dutch language1, is reading this, and if so, it is relatively anonymous2, and besides, I write articles like this without too much detail. It is also not unimportant that it has the best liberating effect, so in a certain sense, it is also of therapeutic value3.

A quote that both my wife and I have as a life motto, which we only recently found out about each other and that while we have known each other for 14 years:

~ We are born alone, we live alone, and we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion that we are not alone ~

Orson Welles

So keep your problems to yourself; I would say or write it anonymously to Mona or blog it then, man…

Speaking of quotes. To conclude, an excellent (well, I think so ) quote from Groucho Marx, which has nothing to do with this subject.

Just humor, to laugh YA KNOW 🙄.

Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a person with dyslexia?
A: Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

GROUCHO

1. how in earth could I have  known that my articles would have been translated by growing demand yeh right

2′ Animosity is so overrated ya know yeh, yeh, yeh, and just one more yeh. I do know obviously (doh)) there is  a not-so-subtle difference between anonymity and animosity

Words which i autonomously must have adapted over the years and what other usable and more to the point applicable, words starting with an”a” are there in this context. hmm for the readability I will undoubtedly delve into that rotten decaying cavity and will feast my analytical mind on it later. Much to the combined relief of that other horde of lingo purists who entertain themselves by studying my use of the Queen’s language ha.

I say correct this then if ya must. I dare ya and as a matter of fact,.. Yeh, that’s right…

I triple dare ya and skip the needless process of double daring y’all together and… 

I N T E R M E Z Z O  (Not so F O R T E but still eh)

The sudden sounds of screeching tires and of course the muffled sound of some expert intervention team mask the more ominous sound of what is happening next for the more sensitive readers among us

Or is it more likely to
assume that a more and more deviating moral compass must have lured my hapless soul into visions of grandeur? Yeah, what price eh is it exactly that makes peeps like me wish to see their stuff appear on the net? What deprived and twisted mindset has come up with this diabolical plot i wonder now when i stare in disbelieve as the words form on my screen, words that may have been thought before but never been put so quite eloquently (ahem) into err words for lack of a better synonym…

‘Which now have been written (ha, ha, ha) at least they haven’t been there for a millisecond or ..no… Wait even I cannot type that fast ok let’s make that prolly a few minutes cos that blasted Parkinson’s must have been the embodied wrath of all them talentless writers or (and quite suddenly it dawns on him like the soot of a chimney which inexplicably decides to puke some of its guts over a random chosen innocent bystander though in retrospect it will prove to you the careful reader and dare i say even the “connoisseur Avant la Lettre” OMFG/ I just typed something in French and WITHOUT A SINGLE ERROR

CAN IT BE THAT…? IS THE UNIVERSE TRYING TO INDICATE THAT … …dude ya got to believe me when I am telling ya this about these horrendous facts of which i am now the only witness to tell cos soon they guys in the white coats will come and…_)

I N T E R M E Z Z O  (applying a bit more F O R T E but still mo irreversible damage is done eh)

The sudden sounds of screeching tires and of course the muffled sound of some expert intervention team mask the more ominous sound of what is happening next for the more sensitive readers among us

HEY hang on there didn’t I read something similar already  as  ya may be thinking among with my editor and more worysome; the guys who are countng my words for my paycheck and you my dear and most appreciated reader (HI MUMMY), just grins a wee bit and think by yerselves that sly old basterd got away with it good this time, yeh good for him…

Even worse those who are gifted with the gab but are nonetheless cramped up with a writers block eh anyway TH]IS DISEASE has had its ultimate way with me and turned me into this,this, thing here… An unfortunate victim of its spasms… But I am far from done with it so bring it on I say and as long as there is a bit of spunk left in me I swear I will not yield, I will stand my…

I N T E R M E Z Z O  (USING quite some of their best and brutal F O R T E )

The sudden sounds of screeching tires and of course the muffled sound of some expert intervention team mask the more ominous sound of what is happening next for the more sensitive readers among us

E P I L O G U E

Thank feck for them guys m/f of the interventionteam I say and let us  hope they willl not go too soft on that “sly ol’    basterd” 😜 eh and….

Oh. wait  NOOOO  NOT my nosey, aargh Let me just grab me coat here, so I can …

3. Prolly the only thing which will stay undisputed, for a while anyway 🙄

Author

fjvanderloo@home.nl
Total post: 9

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