Funny Stuff

A grumpy wee bastard (true story)

This is a funny true story narrated by a Scottish friend (Trooper Mk1) on the “League of eXtraordinary Bastards” forum of a Clan of likewise minded souls, and it’s been at least ten years before I considered it to post it here. It is not translated because much of the charm would otherwise be lost.

Thought this was funny, from a nurse who frequents the wife’s hairdresser, the nurse had the following experience whilst traveling on a bus on the way home from work.

Sitting on the bus on the way home, the nurse had noticed a young lad offering his seat to an older lady as the bus was crowded. A couple of stops later the young lad had regained his seat and the bus was coming to a bus stop in Springburn (Glasgow) the bus stop is just outside a Remploy Factory unit (company which employs people with various disabilities).

Again the bus was filling up with passengers, when along comes a Dwarf/midget with a big fuck off white beard, a Rangers top and an angry expression.

grumpy dwarf photo
Photo by Tony in WA

Again the young lad stands up to offer his seat, this time to the angry midget. Where upon the dwarf starts shouting: ” whit! cos am wee I need your seat? Away ye go ya fuckin’ wanker”…

The bus was silent at the outburst from the vertically challenged heathen. The bus remained in stunned silence until the stop where the midget gets off.

As the dwarf is standing at the doors waiting to get off, the bus pulls in to let him off, as the doors open, the young lad shouts out: “Hawl Wee man! See when you get in? Ah hope Snow-white kicks yer cunt in ya grumpy wee bastard” to the delight of a busload of Glaswegians who basically erupted with laughter, driving away from a very red faced and angry dwarf.

True story. Thought it was hilarious, hope no dwarfs reading this are offended. This story probably relates better in its native script/narrative.

Some of you may need translations. Apologies to any one I have offended.

Story by Trooper Mk1

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