Funny Stuff / Short Stories

About TIME !

I got an existensial question for y’all  and it might be a confronting one >>. READY ???

Do we exist? At all?

or are we only temporary beings fading in and out into obscurity ?

Seems a legit way to start about thinkin’ about it and kne ckhd evn s th ljg,kwna qkgn alwm swgK.#

OK, now I am really stumped ya know, re-reading all this nonsense over and again until I silently begin to weep, cos I haven’t got a clue anymore about whatever clues I might or might not had at the time when I wrote this…

DAMN, It sucks to be a  Parki at times, eh🙂

Oh well, I know what ya prolly must be thinking by now. It may all come across LIKE it all has happened before…  Hmm who said that eh? Aaaand… Welcome to my world, my friends, or is this just a dream within a dream I wonder…or as I like to refer to it: “it seems as one low budget dream, but YET one which has been filmed in 3d  and in technicolor”, whatever the feck that means these days. Right? Anyways, to add a little bit of spice to this dish, it may also contain a way to get yerself killed in a not so fashionable way.

Ya know that uncanny feeling no doubt? Yeh ? ya do huh? Well, how about that? 

Well, to be honest with y’all I got to admit that the previous remark will not fit in any dialogue, thus technically counts just as a monologue right?

Hang on, wait a bit there all that babble doesn’t sound like the thoughts of a coherent human being and that’s maybe cos i am not one. HA!, now I realize this could confuse ya quite a bit so let me get back to the introduction of me. My name is Frans van der Loo and I am one son of a gun all right oh and Immortal of course…

  Yep, that is right. I simply cannot die and don’t think the few peeps that didn’t intuitively like me and who tried to murder me were quite fruitless in their attempts.  As a matter of fact;  if I remember correctly I have been shot, stabbed, feck me I even got set fire upon to be burned to a crisp as well and of course, I have been hit with a lot of things which would be called in technical jargon an instrument causing blunt force trauma, including, but not limited to: a Huey helicopter or helo as we referred to the darn thing and still not a dent in the old fender…  Nope,  just as when I was “unwrapped” back in 1559 AND SO HERE I AM 561 YEARS of age, and yes ladies still worth yer time Notch notch, wink, wink.

Now there before y’all go crazy and start going to ask me for proof we will get to that. No worries there. ok my friends, just bear with me, and please don’t try any of this at home kids cos it will most prolly end yer short and no doubt miserable life as it hurts to get killed ya know? Yessah even me… Sooo, all I am saying is that I am not too keen on the dying part. So, I beg ya please for the love of the tapdancing Jehoshaphat: NO surprise attacks on me as a person, cos even when ya think ya might do it and killed yerself some immortal’s arse, ya will soon find yerself also to be very wrong and to reiterate It hurts like a mofo. soooo ya can imagine that I will not be in the best of moods, nor very forgiving either, eh?

Let’s agree to that then eh?

OK this is how it all started so I am told and am now doing my share of this honourable oath which has bound my family for eons to come.

As y’all know, or even remember,  the universe is quite a desolate and cold place to start yer life or end anyone else’s for that matter…

Yeh, that seems to be quite an ironic touch to this story ,but it all started by ending the the life of an other  now obsolete (thank feck for that eh) life form called by some of us < who are as old as the Universe indeed and also quite equally boring>  YGGDRASIL HA!

This Yggdrasil was a tree and not just a simple one which could be the object of a wet dream of  one prehistoric lumberjack😉 Nah, my friends I am referring to this mother (or father for all I care) of an Ash tree of which one’s descendants can still be found today and as such are part of the Norsk folklore and which is also referenced in the Prose Edda written by one Snorri Sturluson Once, a quite promising apprentice, …

YGDRASIL by Friedrich Wilhelm Heine, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Now, as one prolly likes to observe into a more detailed version of this rudimentary picture, Please don’t feed that snakelike creature dear mates of me, voluntary or otherwise HA!, any parts of yer body as this one which is called Nidhogg, BTW, is quite a greedy ol’ fecker, if ya know what I mean, yeh? As it is known to develop an ever-increasing taste for the flesh it once has tasted. So y’all have been warned…

Alrighty then, back to the line of the story, which is about to unfold with or without, me narrating it… Cos it is one of those odd stories which by its unnatural origin seem to like to tell it all by itself…

But not today as it is my turn to go and watch over y’all… Yeh, mates, don’t I know it is a Rotten job, but hey somebody has to do it and since our Government keeps failing at one of the most important tasks of all, eh…

Oh well… Nuff said…

Part 2

He, he, Ooh this part shouldn’t be published but I guess this must be yer lucky day eh, as yer reading it obviously (DUH) so this could be a sign of one or two things (QUITE Possibly more BUT and I might be forced to bind this as a macro to one of them nice function keys of my brand-new keyboard: being the fact that I am not going to accept or otherwise be held responsible for the chance of burning or otherwise damaging yer brain cos of its limited capacity 😁)

One The security of the systems of my provider which I am currently hosting my formidable blog on is disintegrating as we speak and /or

Two: It is even WORSE than I THOUGHT and well I am guessing there was not enough time, which IS kinda ironic cos…


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